The Best Laid Plans

Posted by Lindsey , Thursday, April 29, 2010 6:34 PM

Gosh, I am almost finished here...or am I? I have a plan, or some sort of resemblance of a plan for when I am officially finished with my contract. A phase has already been observed, the booking of my ticket to Indonesia...my one way ticket there, rather. I have just about two more months and then I will be in Indonesia with Deborah...and will I be wondering what's next when I'm there or will I have something set in a malleable stone??

The initial plan was this...finish my contract, go to Indonesia, then book a ticket to Thailand and just roam around. Eventually reaching Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos...and then go back to Seoul, get my bags, and book it to NYC where I can hang with my cousin, his hubby, and my mom for a bit. Then, my mom and I could drive back to Ohio, hang out, then I would fly to LA sometime in September. I had planned on saving $5000, which I still will, so I can have some sort of cushion while I find a job and get my life situated again somehow...

The slight variation of this plan would be to apply to a school in Tokyo in mid-May where the contract would be from September - March (only six months). Not that I would definitely get the job, but it could be an option. Six months would definitely be ideal for me. So then, my travel plans would change, I would probably just go to Indonesia and then go home until a contract in Japan would begin. Mostly because, I could travel after my contract would end there as it would probably be a bit cheaper to get around that time of year. Then go home the same way, and make a life in LA again somehow.

Now, I have something else, which is highly unlikely to happen or be a definite...but a friend in Korea who works at a university just posted on facebook that his school will be having an opening for the fall semester. Only six months, yet again, which would be awesome...but with the option of a year in March. This is much more money than I'm getting now and more than I would receive in Japan, plus a more desirable position with few hours and worry. I have no idea if I would even be considered for the position based on my resume, but I have a solid year of teaching experience back home and will have one year here; plus my edumacation back home which essentially is a teaching degree and masters.

If this were to happen, by some miracle, I would be so happy. Not because I would still be in Korea necessarily, but because I could actually save some money, get awesome and valid teaching experience which would look wonderful on my resume, and actually be able to travel around more than I've been able to. It would also change my life plans dramatically and throw my goals for the future into limbo for a bit. I mean, I'm not getting any younger at this point and I really need to get my actual teaching credential back home so I can teach abroad and make better money in places that I really want to be.

The bigger problem in all of this, then, is me hopelessly getting my hopes up. Often when I really want or desire something, I fall flat on my face. Even if it is hopelessly hopeless for me to get a position in Japan or a university position in Korea, I must take everything in stride and just be happy with the cards that are laid because this is life...rolling with the punches and not crying too hard when it doesn't work out just the way we want it.

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Wild Abandonment

Posted by Lindsey , Sunday, April 25, 2010 4:43 PM

I have decided to leave behind my theme blog of Korea and just write...a blog about me and my life. Which has been the cool thing to do for awhile, now, right??? I'm just now jumping on the bandwagon, which is all fine and good. And who knows if I'll even keep up with anything, I just want some documentation like everyone else. That I was here, I existed in some realm and did something with my life. If I have to join in the blogging ranks, write online to do that, then I will. What is this modern life without some kind of self-absorbed relevancy?

I want to write a little bit about "A Nightmare on Elm Street". I was reading up on this franchise last night, because why the hell not? ...also because when I was watching these films back in the 80s and early 90s, we had no such thing as wikipedia where you can read endless facts and figures about whatever the hell you want. I thought Wes Craven's inspiration for the first film was so interesting, about young Asian men who were having nightmares and then would just suddenly die in their sleep. Apparently this was genetic and while Asian culture added some mysticism to the lore surrounding these events, more is being found out about a linked syndrome and causes/reasons for the deaths.

This gets me into dreams and the act of dreaming, about what really happens to you and what you pull in from your waking life. Over the years, I've heard things about people sleepwalking and doing terrible things or actually killing loved ones. What were they dreaming about? Are they just convincing con artists who wanted to fulfill murderous intentions? Could something happen in your dreams that is so frightening that it causes something physical in your body to react? And what about talking in your sleep? Sometimes, this can cause more harm than one would expect. I am a sleeptalker and I often worry about sleeping around people who could call me out on some outrageous mumblings coming out of my mouth...causing havoc on the perceptions of those around me.

I ran into this last weekend, when I had to sleep in a room of 25+ people on a hiking trip. I, of course, slept fitfully and probably did not get to the deep sleep required to start babbling. I did hear one person talk and felt a little less alone and frightened about my own hang-ups. We are truly not unique in this world, that is for sure.

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